Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, September 11, 2006
September 11, 2001
whisper
no
can't be
hoax
movie clip
not
true
bodies
people
souls
falling
from planes
from clouds
no clouds
no net
no chance
sirens
screams
disbelief
horror
muffled
in
black
thick
endless
smoke
dust
rubble
looking
looking
looking
never
stop
looking
hoping
a miracle
just
one
selfish
don't care
find
him
her
mine
now
please
done now
silent
hope
gone
angry
still
love
always
forever
endless
never
forget
never
whisper
why?
no
can't be
hoax
movie clip
not
true
bodies
people
souls
falling
from planes
from clouds
no clouds
no net
no chance
sirens
screams
disbelief
horror
muffled
in
black
thick
endless
smoke
dust
rubble
looking
looking
looking
never
stop
looking
hoping
a miracle
just
one
selfish
don't care
find
him
her
mine
now
please
done now
silent
hope
gone
angry
still
love
always
forever
endless
never
forget
never
whisper
why?
Friday, April 14, 2006
My Friend
You touch me
And like on water, the ripples go out
Quietly they lap against the bank
Barely making a mark on the sand
But the undertow is fierce
It's pulling my feet out from under
It's taking the breath from my lungs
It's sweeping me along for the ride
The surface comes too late
For peace of mind
The panic has already set in
The fear has already taken hold
What do you want from me?
What can I give to you?
What if I can't?
What if I fail?
Will you touch me again?
And like on water, the ripples go out
Quietly they lap against the bank
Barely making a mark on the sand
But the undertow is fierce
It's pulling my feet out from under
It's taking the breath from my lungs
It's sweeping me along for the ride
The surface comes too late
For peace of mind
The panic has already set in
The fear has already taken hold
What do you want from me?
What can I give to you?
What if I can't?
What if I fail?
Will you touch me again?
Echoes of Whispers
I'm hearing echoes of whispers from long ago. Young and naive I thought I had fallen in love. I believed the vows I took. I trusted the person I married. I gave of myself with every fiber of my being.
When things started to go bad, I thought I could fix it. I thought it must be my fault and I could change the destiny of the path we were on.
Now I have two people in my life going through the same thing.
One of them has become a good friend through blogging. Strange how the internet can make our world so much smaller. I've seen a few pictures, I've read many posts, and I've chatted online a bit and someone I feel very close to someone I've never met. So close, that sometimes I wonder if I've not created a monster.
It's difficult to care about someone so intently and care about their life, yet keep yourself distanced from creating an uncomfortable situation. I have to admit, the other night I was talking online to this person and it became strangely tense. Was I reading too much into the conversation? I pondered this for hours after I got offline. Were the words he'd written directed just at a generic "someone" or was he really directing them at me?
Then I worry that I've become some kind of a rebound crutch. He's hurting so badly and perhaps he's grasping at anyone who treats him with kindness and affection. I hope that isn't the case. As much as I value his friendship, I value my marriage more. My husband really is my best friend... and I love him and my family with all my heart. I would never do anything to jeapordize that relationship.
How do I tell this person that I love him - platonically? I care for him deeply as a friend and a human being. I want him to have the happiness that everyone deserves. Especially him. He's had enough tragedy in his lifetime.
The other person is someone even closer to me... my youngest daughter. She's only been married a year and is now heading for divorce. In a week she will be moving home to live and to recapture her life. She made the same mistake I did the first time. She thought she was in love, without knowing what love was. She thought being someone's best friend and confidant, to be comfortable with them, to laugh, to cry, to share... this was enough. Sometimes, it's not. They both realized it, too late.
Will she find someone again? Of this I'm convinced. She's beautiful, funny, caring, and kind. What's not to love?
Both of these people bring the echoes back to me of a life gone before. Mine... and the whispers say, "I wish I could have told them this before"...
When things started to go bad, I thought I could fix it. I thought it must be my fault and I could change the destiny of the path we were on.
Now I have two people in my life going through the same thing.
One of them has become a good friend through blogging. Strange how the internet can make our world so much smaller. I've seen a few pictures, I've read many posts, and I've chatted online a bit and someone I feel very close to someone I've never met. So close, that sometimes I wonder if I've not created a monster.
It's difficult to care about someone so intently and care about their life, yet keep yourself distanced from creating an uncomfortable situation. I have to admit, the other night I was talking online to this person and it became strangely tense. Was I reading too much into the conversation? I pondered this for hours after I got offline. Were the words he'd written directed just at a generic "someone" or was he really directing them at me?
Then I worry that I've become some kind of a rebound crutch. He's hurting so badly and perhaps he's grasping at anyone who treats him with kindness and affection. I hope that isn't the case. As much as I value his friendship, I value my marriage more. My husband really is my best friend... and I love him and my family with all my heart. I would never do anything to jeapordize that relationship.
How do I tell this person that I love him - platonically? I care for him deeply as a friend and a human being. I want him to have the happiness that everyone deserves. Especially him. He's had enough tragedy in his lifetime.
The other person is someone even closer to me... my youngest daughter. She's only been married a year and is now heading for divorce. In a week she will be moving home to live and to recapture her life. She made the same mistake I did the first time. She thought she was in love, without knowing what love was. She thought being someone's best friend and confidant, to be comfortable with them, to laugh, to cry, to share... this was enough. Sometimes, it's not. They both realized it, too late.
Will she find someone again? Of this I'm convinced. She's beautiful, funny, caring, and kind. What's not to love?
Both of these people bring the echoes back to me of a life gone before. Mine... and the whispers say, "I wish I could have told them this before"...
Friday, January 13, 2006
Not Mine
In a moment, cars become wreckage.
In a moment, bodies become shells.
In a moment, life becomes death.
With a phone call, everything changes.
With a phone call, reality bites.
With a phone call, someone is dead.
With a whisper, laughter becomes tears.
With a whisper, hope becomes hopeless.
With a whisper, surprise becomes shock.
Too young to go in a moment.
Too young for a family to grieve.
Too young spreads the voice of the whisper.
With a heartache, sympathy.
With a heartache, guilt.
With a heartache, relief.
Not me.
Not mine.
Not mine.
In a moment, bodies become shells.
In a moment, life becomes death.
With a phone call, everything changes.
With a phone call, reality bites.
With a phone call, someone is dead.
With a whisper, laughter becomes tears.
With a whisper, hope becomes hopeless.
With a whisper, surprise becomes shock.
Too young to go in a moment.
Too young for a family to grieve.
Too young spreads the voice of the whisper.
With a heartache, sympathy.
With a heartache, guilt.
With a heartache, relief.
Not me.
Not mine.
Not mine.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Christmas Memory
As a child, I lived with my grandparents until I was five. My cousins lived in the same time and they were close to my age. I was an only child, so it was as a gift of temporary siblings.
One Christmas I remember going back to my grandparents for a large family celebration. My grandparents had a camper, and us kids spent the night there... giggling and trying to keep each other awake so we could see Santa sneak into the house. The cookies and milk had been set out and we all had opinions as to which ones he'd like the best.
My grandma's tree was live and the house was full of the pine scent. Back then there was no such thing as 'artifical' trees. The lights were huge round balls of various colors, and the ornaments were shiny and bright, reflecting the glow. Already wrapped packages tucked under the limbs and overflowed out into the room... all of us scolded at one time or another during the evening not to dare touch the presents. Of course, there were always the adults that would go by and pick up a random package and shake it, making dire predictions as to what the package held.
How our eyes shone with wonder as we flocked in the house on Christmas morning, our jammie feet covered with snow we were too much in a hurry to brush off. My girl cousins and I got beautiful dolls with gowns and flowing hair... just right for brushing and brushing and brushing. My boy cousins got cowboy hats and cap pistols. (Before everyone became so p.c.)
Dinner was only a momentary pause for us kids between playing our new games and making the adults play with us one day out of the year. They were full and most of them would rather play games with the kids than clear the table and do the dishes. This was before dishwashers, too.
By evening the house would be full of tired, cranky kids and even more tired cranky adults. Everyone anxious to get home to their own beds and some peace and quiet. Another Christmas come and gone... at least one toy or doll broken already. Home, to dream of another year of wishes.
One Christmas I remember going back to my grandparents for a large family celebration. My grandparents had a camper, and us kids spent the night there... giggling and trying to keep each other awake so we could see Santa sneak into the house. The cookies and milk had been set out and we all had opinions as to which ones he'd like the best.
My grandma's tree was live and the house was full of the pine scent. Back then there was no such thing as 'artifical' trees. The lights were huge round balls of various colors, and the ornaments were shiny and bright, reflecting the glow. Already wrapped packages tucked under the limbs and overflowed out into the room... all of us scolded at one time or another during the evening not to dare touch the presents. Of course, there were always the adults that would go by and pick up a random package and shake it, making dire predictions as to what the package held.
How our eyes shone with wonder as we flocked in the house on Christmas morning, our jammie feet covered with snow we were too much in a hurry to brush off. My girl cousins and I got beautiful dolls with gowns and flowing hair... just right for brushing and brushing and brushing. My boy cousins got cowboy hats and cap pistols. (Before everyone became so p.c.)
Dinner was only a momentary pause for us kids between playing our new games and making the adults play with us one day out of the year. They were full and most of them would rather play games with the kids than clear the table and do the dishes. This was before dishwashers, too.
By evening the house would be full of tired, cranky kids and even more tired cranky adults. Everyone anxious to get home to their own beds and some peace and quiet. Another Christmas come and gone... at least one toy or doll broken already. Home, to dream of another year of wishes.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Between
This is a blog to fit the in-between things that won't fit anywhere else. Welcome. The following may or may not have happened. There is no guarantee it's real.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
